The ONLY tip you’ll ever need to stop being an angry mom.

By Jodi Perez | Parenting

Aug 02

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How to Stop yelling at your kids

The easy way

Picture this:  Your kitchen, yesterday afternoon.  You’re dutifully cooking a healthy dinner, the counters are cluttered with ingredients and dirty dishes.  For some reason, that new rice dish your trying doesn’t look quite right.  Suddenly, the kids dart through the kitchen, bumping into the counter and nearly knocking over the lemon pepper chicken that’s cooling in its dish.

“Stop running!” Your voice is a bit louder than usual in an attempt to be heard over the laughter but it’s still well within the realm of calm.   A few moments later, while you’re desperately trying to salvage your rice dish, you hear screaming from the other room.

A quick peek reveals your children wrestling on the floor and toys covering every flat surface in sight.    You throw your hands up in frustration, take a deep breath and separate the fighting children. Without even addressing the wrestling match, you give them your sternest look and say “You two need to get this room cleaned up before dinner.”   Stern, but still calm.  Hopefully, cleaning will keep them busy.

Back in the kitchen, your rice has burned to the bottom of the pot.  You hear your husband’s voice coming from the bathroom, where he’s been hiding for the past 20 minutes.

“Honey!  Something’s burning!”

Your back stiffens and you can feel your chest beginning to tighten up. It’s not as easy to overlook his behavior. It would be nice if he’d help you out instead of yelling down from his hideout.

You’re frustrated, angry and overwhelmed.  With no hope left of salvaging the rice, you flop the sticky, blackened substance into a serving bowl and call everyone to the table for dinner.

You are tense and tired and annoyed at the mess all around you, but you’re looking forward to sitting down to a meal with your family.  So you pull it together and paste a smile on your face.

And then this happens:

Change the atmosphere in your home. Use this one trick to stop being an angry mom.

“Ew.  What is this? I am NOT eating that,” Your child declares, scrunching up his nose in a look of disgust at the burnt rice.

And. you. see. red.

“YES!  YOU ARE GOING EAT IT.  AND YOU WILL LIKE IT!DO. YOU. UNDERSTAND. ME?”

“Babe,” your husband puts his hand over yours and looks at you with concerned eyes. His look feels condescending, as though he’s somehow superior to you because you can’t control your own emotions.   As if you haven’t already spent hours controlling your emotions.

You just wanted a nice family dinner.

You weren’t doing it for yourself.. you were doing it for them. AND THEY RUINED IT.  Right?

Well Mama, I could lecture you about how you are holding yourself to a standard that’s unattainable.

I could lecture you about why you should’ve let your child’s comment roll off your back or why your husband “needed a little quiet time. ”

But I won’t do that.

Why?  Because I am you.

I, too, want a Pinterest perfect home and healthy dinners every night.  I want to enjoy the minutes with my family and to be overcome with love when I look at my kids.

I know that kind of life is reserved for Hollywood and Pinterest.  But changing that mindset is NOT an easy fix. Changing that mindset is a Long-term solution and you need something that will work TODAY.

What I’m going to share with you is an easy fix.

It’s an EASY way to change the mood in your home.  It’s a tried and true method used from the very beginning of time.

  • Hollywood swears by it to elicit an emotional response.
  • Churches use it to change the atmosphere of the service.
  • Commercials use it to create a lasting impression.
  • It has the power to make things feel sad, exciting or even magical (think Christmas).

And YOU can use it to change your mood.

Do you know what “it” is yet? You got it.

Music.

Did you know that Hollywood directors carefully choose the music behind each love scene in order to elicit the exact response they want you to have?   If they want you to see a scene from a female perspective, the music is sung by a female!

Think about those sad commercials for animal rescue shelters….  the pictures are actually pretty gruesome.  The images alone would likely leave you feeling a bit grossed out!  But the music tells you how to feel, and your heart melts for those poor animals.

Stop Yelling at your kids using this proven method that will give you the tools you need to be a calm mom. Change the atmosphere in your home.

Using music is a great way to change the mood in your home.  You can use it to stir up excitement, get everyone calm, or even to get you in the mood.   But my FAVORITE way to use music is to turn on my “calm mom” playlist when I know I’m going to be in high-stress situations!  I have chosen a list of songs that help me remember why I love my kids and how much I will miss all the craziness someday!

You can grab a copy of my playlist HERE!  But if you’re not into creating a whole playlist for yourself, you can also use a service like Amazon Music or Pandora.   You will give the software an example of the type of music you are looking for and let it read your mind!

So what about you? Do you use music to change your mood?Tell us your tips in the comments below!

 

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You're not really an angry mom. Use this simple and proven tip for changing they atmosphere, getting rid of your mom anger and becoming a calmer mom. #parentingtips #angermanagement #angrymomWorks EVERY TIME! This one simple trick will help calm the atmosphere in your home and will help you be a calm mom! #momanger #angermanagement

  • Sophie says:

    This was a great post, Jodi. I didn’t see that coming, and you’re right, it does work in almost every situation (even if only to drown out the noise long enough for you to calm down). I have a few go-to playlists that I use, depending on the type of anger or mood I’m experiencing. ‘Calm vibes’ on Spotify is a great one. I also have a playlist of my top 100 or so favourite worship songs. But honestly, when I’m really, really tired (which is my anger-trigger), I find I get the quickest benefit by throwing on a playlist of the songs I grew up with (not the stuff from the radio, though I have my moods for that as well), but the stuff my mom played–CCR, Van Morrison, Eric Clapton, Joni Mitchell, Paul Simon. This does the trick for me, and I think my kids know to leave me alone when I pull this stuff out. Finally, if the kids are really cranky and I need to just reset the whole tone of our house, I play the soundtrack for Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, and we sing every single song.

    • Jodi Perez says:

      Joseph and the technicolor dream coat!!! LOVE IT!!! We have the similar rituals on this. When everyone’s cranky… I put on their favorite music and we karaoke!

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